When Forgiveness Isn't Enough

If your experiences at trying to get past your past have met with advice like:
    "Get over it."
    "You just need to forgive and forget."
    "What's the big deal?"
    "Give it to the Lord."
Or here’s a popular one:
    "You must have picked 'it' back up again."

Then chances are you have a sneaking suspicion that 'motivational' advice is ineffective at best.

When pain and confusion have swallowed you up inside and has begun to consume every aspect of your life, this advice sounds a lot like take a couple of aspirin and call someone who cares.

Don't get me wrong - forgiveness is a necessary life skill. Use it liberally! But like an anti-biotic doesn’t cure cancer, neither is forgiveness the one pill cure all. When forgiveness is ineffective, it’s time to try another approach.

James 4:8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. KJV

The verse in James says it plain. Your part is to get close to God. When you do that it's going to inspire a couple of things: you're going to want to stop doing the destructive things that suck the life out of your life (sinning) and the house cleaning your heart has been crying for will become apparent.

You have been given the mind of Christ*, and that's a problem. You have your view of what you think life is supposed to be and how it's supposed to be lived. And you also have the ability to see life as your Creator sees it. That’s what double-minded is. Are you going to believe the way you always have by viewing life and getting your cues for living based on the limits of your mind and its ability to make things make sense? Or will you choose to clean out your heart by replacing old beliefs, and non-truths with God’s truth?

Example: Someone said, “You’re stupid, you’ll never amount to anything.” If your heart took that in, and continues to believe it to be true then when God says, “I love you more than life, I have an amazing plan for you to pursue and fulfill.” If you haven’t cleaned out your heart from the old, longer held belief, you are not going to be able to fulfill God’s plan.

What next? A heart-cleaning. To forgive the person who said or did things to and against you is your first step. Your second step is to consider what it is you have come to believe about yourself, your God and your world as a result of those words or actions. Then simply decide what you are going to believe: their lies or God’s truth.

*1 Cor.2:16